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"Good intentions, for a Slytherin, are nothing more than the scenic route to hell."
"Don't sweat the small stuff; gnomes, for example."
"Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon."
"It is never to late to be what you might have been."
"A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith doesn't prove anything."
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.
"The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues."
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Monday, January 09, 2006
OMGWTFPolarBears?!?!?!?!
So... I saw Chronicles of Narnia. It ruled. Fucking excellent. I loved it so much... will own.
Tema wanted to kill me though... for the little comment of 'She's got arm jigglies' in the middle of the battle when the Ice Queen decides to take her polar bears of doom on the move.
So great to almost make a loved one snurf in the theater.
Anyhoodles, the real reason for this post today is an email I recieved, courtesy
It's in the style of the The Skippy List, so I linked it there for ya'll who haven't seen it.
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their
House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate
Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a
challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand"
in the common room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and
draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark
Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's
project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15. "Liften Separatis Crotchum" is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he
is wearing an orange anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are
now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!".
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Animagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a
reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not "Mentats in training".
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting
clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as "Admiral Naismith".
39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is
only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On
The End".
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said
so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.